Friday, January 8, 2010

i got the blues…..or do i?

So, this is not finding my one thing today.  This is asking for help…..ideas.  I am feeling a little lost.   I feel I have lost my spunk….my fight.  I have stopped crying when defeated.  Stopped speaking up for what I think is right in my household.  Just kind of stopped.

 

It’s not upsetting to see boys go to bed too late.  It’s not bothering me as much that all of my dishes are dirty, that my trash stinks, that I have been stuck in my house for 5 days straight with school cancelled. 

Yes, I have tried the usuals….chocolate, food, my occasional coke, baking, winter walk for fresh air, praying, just doing things with my precious children, and even going to sonic to get corn dogs with the kiddos, but nothing seems to work.  I have also considered that the holidays are over, but this has not affected me before?

I have thought that maybe nothing is wrong and I am finding the groove of the family.  But, if that is so why do I feel so icky inside? 

Are these things bothering me and I dont know it?  I definitely feel out of sorts. I am sure though that I am not the only one that feels this way.  Do others go through this and have figured it out?  I feel new at my job still.  

You know, I like the snow.  The holiday is done and over.  I like being a house mommy and wife.  I even like throwing my mommy fits every once in a while.   I like that I can mostly keep up with dishes and clothes, and that it’s my job to do so….so still brings me back to why I have lost my spunk?

So, for those few that look at this….what ya think?  Am I losing my insanity?  I hope not, I like it…well, I will wait anxiously for any insight…let me know :) 

3 comments:

  1. Hugs for you...

    No insight, though. I'm right there with you. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

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  2. I am so there too. But I am also on meds for this. Maybe talk to your doctor? You might not necessarily need meds, but just talking about it with the doctor might help? Next week we can get back into the swing of things! I think it's just a funk and you will come out of it!

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  3. I've been going through something similar and have yet to find my way out of it. This year seems to be worse for me than others. I try to fake it and pretend that I am okay and everything is normal. I also force myself to do things I don't feel like doing. Things that I normally wouldn't have to think about. And when all else fails, I pray for assistance. I cried a few days ago for the first time in a long time and felt a little better afterwards. Good luck!

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